Daily life – as exciting as soap operas…
Remember people telling you just to
say what you really meant or what you really wanted? As in that would help to make other people understand you. I do. So I
started changing my way of communicating and nailing facts to the point. I also changed the way to ask questions. Its
quite useful. Communication is a great tool. And its also the reason for a lot
of misunderstandings. These misunderstandings are caused by tradition. Meaning
by how we get used to interpret situations and words. Think about it and step out of your
own box from time to time (recommendation: a movie named "People vs.
The State Of Illusion").
So I consider myself a direct and
pragmatic communicator. Do not trick me with irony, sarcasm or cynicism.
Because I will either start trying to help you or try to find out why you reacted mean to me. I already experienced this following scenario another time. Maybe more
than once. So I like to share what happens, when you just say what you really
mean. Reading it is funny first. Then it makes me sad. Why being direct when people prefer the old ironic and indirect pattern?
So, did I learn something new? No. Just that it seems to happen again and again. I wonder by what facts I should decide to stop trying explaining myself - or continue. Hmm.
Oh, there is something else besides misunderstandings and nailing it to the fact: explaining yourself to make you understood. And saying I am sorry, even though there is nothing you did on purpose to hurt someone. I keep saying that to good friends of mine: Why do you say sorry? You don't have to. You did not do it on purpose. There is different ways of saying sorry as well. Some use it inflationary not meaning it, some nearly never say I am sorry. Well. There is a big variety of how to react to one another. Listening helps. Empathy helps. Experience helps. Forgiveness helps as well. And sometimes its just better to leave instead of trying to make somebody understand that doesn't seem to be interested in learning something new.
...Read the chat history again and found: "Sorry. My English is not that good". Thinking about that...I don't think this has something to do about good English or not. It is acting in well known pattern. This argument is about communicating in a different way than one is used to. Make yourself understood. Speak and write in a way that you will be understood. And the communication will become easier each time. Also known as getting to know each other. :) ... I am a little slow, but is it possible that he only excused himself for his English instead of saying mean things?
...He is online again and we continue chatting..More mixed signals, as my big bro D would say. I got more confused. He asked if we were good. I do not think that he actually is. I deleted the chat history to stop giving more interpretations to different topics. If he likes to chat he will write. How much patience is it worth to learn that I try to understand people who don't even give a sh*t. I have another friend named D. I am pretty sure he would tell me just to let it go. I work on that one.
